Mission One: Keep Them Alive.

Mission Two: Maybe Something Green. A Realistic Dad's Guide to Cooking.

The last thing on the list of probable careers is probably: chef. I can’t even watch half an episode of The Bear without getting overwhelmed and having to go for a long walk. I cook because my family needs to eat. That’s it. I also happen to like cooking if I have the time and space to enjoy it. When it’s for fun, I get to learn something new, and it’s easy to see improvement, which is satisfying. Most of the time, though, I’m tired and just need to feed these damned kids.

When it comes to recipes, every day is playoff basketball, and I’m running a 7-man rotation. If family stays with us for more than a week they will start to see repeat meals. There’s just not a lot of time to experiment. We don’t have much room for error with hungry, potentially emotionally unstable little customers waiting at the kitchen table, pounding their forks and knives. Through personal ineptitude and a global health crisis, I’ve learned to adapt and overcome. Here are some of my lessons as a bad dad chef.