The Down Easter

The Blasphemy of Saint Patrick

March or April? It’s a tight race for the honor of the worst month of the year in Maine. It’s sloppy, slushy, snowy, dirty. Winter is still absolutely here, the woodstove is cranking in the corner. Like a fool, you keep looking for signs of a real spring. Seems like the birds are more active these days? Does that raccoon digging through my compost mean anything? Check the almanac again. Nothing. Fortunately, this hopeless time of year has an Irish-inspired upside if you’re paying attention—check the endcaps at your local grocer, search a little deeper in the gas station beer cooler, look for that traditional black branding that warms the heart. There it is, the four-pack of tall cans with the little modern blue highlights. Reach confidently, unapologetically for the Guinness Zero.